The Most Difficult Secret to Happiness
This may be the most difficult thing we need to do. If you have started to focus more on complimenting. contributing and condoning, this 3rd secret will not be so daunting. What is the 3rd secret?
It is focusing on the good aspects of every situation. Regardless of what you’re doing or what the circumstances are, it is focusing on the positive.
Find the Positive
I’ll give you a little example. I was having a business meeting – one of my first businesses – and my son was about a year old. It was at an associate’s house. We were both young, entrepreneurial moms and we were going over quite a bit of business. My son who was few feet away from both of us went over to one of those huge drinking water jugs and started playing with the knob. Before we knew it, the floor was flooded. Absolutely flooded.
I remember my reaction. I was embarrassed, shocked. He wasn’t really doing anything I could punish him for. He was curious and he was playing with the valves and it wasn’t something that he needed to be punished for. But I was very embarrassed. I am sure that water cost a lot of money and then it was all over the floor and it was not going back in the jug.
My business associate’s reaction is something that has stayed with me ever since and I go back to that when I have little different upsets in my life. Her reaction was to say, “My floor’s needed to be mopped anyway”.
I thought “Wow, that was a very happy way to look at it.” She looked at the good, found a way out, and alleviated my concern about what my son just did. We all felt better and laughed a bit. We got a couple of towels and we ended up cleaning her kitchen floor.
She is now very happy and very successful. She taught me to find something positive about that situation. I like to remember that when I’m focusing on the not-so-good things in my life and go back to that. There’s got to be something good coming out of it. There usually is and we all know it usually works out in the end. Getting upset, particularly at little things or with children or co-workers, doesn’t serve anyone and it doesn’t help solve our problems any faster.
Stay Positive to Find Solutions
As a matter of fact, studies have proven that when we get angry, upset and frustrated, it locks our brain down. We can’t find solutions when we’re angry and frustrated. We have to focus on the good to see the solutions.
Successful people do that all the time. Happy, successful people don’t place the blame on others. They don’t focus on the negative aspect of situation. They deliberately focus on something positive. You can do the same thing. It’s going to take some practice but you can do it.
Your Action Plan
I would love to hear how you could put this into practice. The next time somebody spills something, misplaces something or even breaks something, avoid getting angry, upset and placing blame – these things aren’t going to help. Just like it wasn’t going to help for me to get mad or angry – it wouldn’t put that water back on the jug. So you might as well focus on the positive.
Share with me what you’re doing to be more positive. What happens when you start complimenting people? When you start contributing? That is going to change your life for the better.
Also share with me a situation where you had a choice to focus on the negative or positive and how that worked for you.